The Point of Becoming: The Wild Realization of New Identity

Muling over choices of florecent-lit root systems I hemmed softly to myself. Each green leaf peaked my interest in slightly different manners as I stood cross-armed intently studying their physique. Some broad and deep in color, while other's narrow and tall with spikes, the range of compositions was fascinating. A worker gently grazed my shoulder as I caught the glint in his eye surveying the best technique to make the sale. Standing politely with a soft grin, I entertained his surface-level knowledge of air purifying cacti while I quietly introspected on my own intentions. Something large enough for the window, but green enough to add some new air I thought softly. My eyes landed on a large leafed Fig tree and I went to approach. Still salty with sweat from my afternoon workout class, the dirt rubbed on my arm as I bent down for the winner's pick seemed futile. How pleasant a warm shower will feel upon my return I thought. And, then it hit me.

I am here.

Not there where I was. Not her.

I am me. Here.

It is this moment that has brought me back today Readers.

Good evening readers, I'd be remissed if I don't ackowledge how dusty that may feel reading that line. It's been almost a year since my last posting on here, and boy a year it has been. I won't bore you with the intricate details, as that is a story better saved for another day, but in short this past year - like them all- has brought me new memories, closer relationships, and new opportunities. And for that I am ever thankful. You may be wondering the reason for my unique introduction today, as it breaks my usual lettered structure I echo now. And in truth, the almost narrative nature surprised myself as a first instinct drawn from my pen when I sat to write tonight. But, the intention was to paint the picture of a recent moment I lived which brought me back tonight, and I think some of you may be feeling too.

The Point of Becoming

It is a moment of psychosomatic clarity, when your attention stops, looks around, and finally registers your growth.

A wordly book end of your unpercieved efforts, difficult transitions, and internal resilience. Somehow for me this moment came as I described above: looking for a plant in a hardware store.

Seems on brand enough, I suppose.

But what does this moment represent? And why can this realization decenter as much as it can uplift? These are a few questions I thought we could reflect together today, in the hopes my answers can aid your transition too.

What is the Point of Becoming

From how I've reflected on the process, it's my perception this moment of present self-awareness of growth can be deemed the Point of Becoming. This is because it is the exact moment in which your brain neurons (think habit chains, internal impulses, or physical state) and your internal dialogue (think spiritural desires, personal dreams, and self-perception) align to become one. When we are in the process of becoming these intrinsically must stay separate as one guides the other along the way towards alignment. This is why it feels so challenging to adopt new habits or integrating new routines when your body or mind are not yet in sync. Whereas, this magic Point of Becoming is impactful because you are effectively becoming a new person. It may seem quite dramatic, but growth and perception co-exist on one plain. And, when your parallel centers converge in this reflection your reality shifts because you finally see you are different.

You become because you perceive.

I've felt this shift only a handful of times in my life. And they always seem to come randomly, without prompt. (This is also why I am so big on the importance of little moments over big events in regard to life milestones.) In fact, my theory would argue these ‘random moment’ tendencies is because when your focus is completely elsewhere, your subconcious is completely exposed. And when we become our identity shifts on that fundamental level. It's not our head, or our heart, it is now just US.

I empower you to to think about this Point of Becoming. Can you remember the last time you felt that your head and your wishes alligned this deeply? If you can't remember a moment I instead ask you to look back at the last time your actions greatly shifted with ease. Because one of the most fun parts of the Point of Becoming is all points afterwards reflect this shift! So whether it manifest as an influx of authentic actions, or sudden shifts in your thought processes or desires, if you know the effect, you can usually work backwards to recognize a rough point where you would have felt this causal projection.

Consider Journaling on this moment: What did you feel when you reached your Point of Becoming?

Challenges in Becoming

Now that we've developed an idea of our Point of Becoming, I'd like to reflect together on some of the challenges we may face post our turning point.

One early challenge I've seen is once realizing your potential it can be hard to remember how to stop. Note the excitement we feel when we reach completion of a race. When you feel the elation of beating your own self in the game of development this new found identity can feel supercharged. And you might turn to the stands and run a victory lap to show off your keen skill. While this may feel exuberant in the moment this supercharged energy can in turn super-drain yourself out if you’re not careful. I for one, easily fall into this trap of over doing more often than not, and especially in these times of transition. And it makes sense. The feeling of progression is almost as intoxicating if not more to the results you've been seeking in the first place. But, we must be considerate. Because the Point of Becoming can also be the Point of Reckoning if we get too frivolous. This is not to say we cannot celebrate and exude the great energy of the person we've become. More so to caution ourselves not to translate this into irrational pressure towards maintaining this temporary high unto our next point to chase. Less we conveniently forget all the time and discovery from which our recent turning point was born.

And so while I am never one to discourage action in life. As we transition to our new selves with full awareness, I implore us also to just enjoy ourselves now too. Enjoy this person you've been trying so hard to manifest without pressure or guilt to start somewhere else. Because the next level and transition will come, as it always does. You will never be late for what is meant for you. And you can actually be early if you lack patience and increase force. Not the mention that permanently chasing perfection is actually more detrimental to longterm progress than you’d think. So, in our victory lap let us all remember to take a beat and stop to thank ourselves for our present states successes post championing our new Point of Becoming.

In addition, another challenge we may face is discovering this next goal level for ourselves. After a period of strong understanding and checkpoints, coming to the end of the race can leave a strange feeling of aloofness. Unfortunately, the hard truth is that you will in deed be aloof for a period of time. You will need to rediscover what is the next step in your true path, and that will require some degree of trial and error for a time. But, instead of looking at it feeling daunted (or worse stagnant!) Look at this uncertainty as a new gift of curiosity. You get to try new dreams and ideas on like new pants in a dressing room. What may work in one color might not another, and which pair may fit at the seams may not exude the style or mystique in your minds eye. So take them off! Shop the day away! And feel so excited by this new ability to pivot and discover your new path. This will ultimately serve you in unexpected ways in the future.

And, finally like the Yin and yang in life. With any Point of Becoming, we will also find our own Points of Unbecoming too. As we shift into this new identity and persona, you might find that you choose to lose aspects of your old self that no longer fit this new you. Old vices you might have carried, or hobbies, and friends you no longer miss will be a sign that you are moving in a new direction. And this is okay. In many instances, the spaces they leave will actually be the breeding ground for new elements of fulfillment at greater degrees than those old aspects ever did. So mourn their loss. They represent a part of you too which you are saying goodbye. But, don't let nostalgia or fear of the unknown cause you to carry with you what you must let go.

The process of Becoming means Unbecoming too.

I am so proud of all of us for our growth. Whether your moment came recently like mine, or will come soon enough. We are all going to have our moment. Where we're standing in that hardware store. Looking at big leafed plants. And softly smile to yourself because you see that you've arrived.

Until Next Time Readers :).